Saddleworth Dementia Friends Champion Helen Morris, from Dobcross, shares some thoughts about dealing with short-term memory loss.
MAY IS the month of Dementia Awareness Week (17th to 23rd May) and the election of course so I had a quick look at what the parties have to say on dementia – unsurprisingly all pledge more support.
With the new Care Act coming into force too, people with serious needs should get better and more joined-up social and health care.
Great, but my heart goes out also to all those with dementia and less serious needs and a loving family round them, because there is still so much ignorance about the condition that even the best intentioned and caring relatives can make life a whole load more stressful for everyone than it needs to be.
So with Dementia Awareness Week in mind I want to focus on one key aspect of the condition where the short term memory is impaired (in most cases where Alzheimer’s disease figures.)
I often hear people saying how exhausting it is giving instructions to an elderly parent with dementia over and over again. I found a poem on the web which makes my point; one verse includes the lines:
“My nanna’s got dementia which means she always will forget
We say the same thing time again but it still slips through the net.”
My response is just stop saying what you are saying and don’t expect or demand that new information will be retained. Think of something good to share instead and find a different way to support her lack of memory.
A written note, a visible prompt, timer devices, a short phone call at an appropriate time or just let whatever ritual you are trying to sustain change into something else…. be creative! And if possible look for the fun in any situation and smile as much as you can.
You could also just slow down a bit yourself! Take it all down a gear and use the time with your relative as chill-time.
There are moments which are difficult but I would guess 80 per cent of the stress could be reduced with more knowledge about the brain, the condition and what can be done when capacity is failing.
Anyone who has attended my Dementia Friends sessions knows that emotional intelligence remains intact. So find connections through music, songs, poems, sayings etc.
Nanna may forget even who you are at times but she will know that she loves you, so make sure she knows you love her too every time you see her.
Don’t forget Dementia Friends sessions which I am always happy to run for free – just call me on 07976 702171 or email helen@close-communications.com or check or see if I have any public sessions on the website www.dementiafriends.org.uk
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