Saddleworth Chatter by GH
FRANK FROM Dobcross needed a taxi and as he walked out of his front gate, lo and behold a passing taxi stopped for him.
As he got in, the cabbie said: “You are just like Bert.”
Frank asked: “Who?”
The cabbie replied: ‘Bert Higgins, the chap who never did anything wrong.
“Just like you catching me as I drove past, for Bert Higgins things like that happened all the time.”
“But he must have had things go wrong occasionally,” answered Frank.
“Not Bert Higgins” retorted the cabbie. “He was a supreme athlete and could win any tennis Grand Slam, beat any pro at golf, sing like Pavarotti, and play a piano better than any concert pianist.”
Frank replied: “He certainly sounds very special.”
The cabbie continued: “He always knew the best way through traffic, unlike me. I always get stuck in traffic jams, but Bert never made mistakes.
“He also knew how to treat a woman and make her feel real good and he never argued back even if she was wrong.
“He also was always immaculately dressed with his shoes freshly polished. In fact he was the ‘perfect man’.
“I never knew of him making any mistake. No one could ever match up to Bert Higgins.”
Frank said to the cabbie: “Amazing fellow – where and how did you meet him?”
The cabbie answered: “Well, I never actually met Bert. He died… and I married his damn wife!”
