Saddleworth Chatter

HARRY AND Charlie were lifetime pals who had grown up together in Uppermill. They had worked hard and well and used to meet after work for a couple of hours and a pint together in the Wagon Pub on Friday evenings.

This particular Friday Charlie noted that Harry looked rather despondent as he sat down beside him.

“By ek, Harry what’s up? Has somebody pinched your new cap?” he asked.

“No, Charlie, it’s just that I wonder what is the point of all this life we lead? We are both over 20 and earning decent money but what’s up wi us? Neither of us have a girlfriend and a chance to move on with our lives.

“I am sure there is a lovely girl out there for both of us,” said Harry. “ leave it to me. I’ve got an idea, I’ll just go and get another couple of pints in,” Charlie said.

When Harry arrived at the bar he noticed the bar maid was looking at a large mail Order colour catalogue of beautifully dressed and turned out women.

“Can I order two more pints of best and borrow your book?” asked Harry.

“Course you can love,” said the barmaid, “But bring it back won’t you.”

Harry got back to Charlie and said “Just look through this lot, in this catalogue there are some crackers in there. And there is a phone number on every page and all you need is your credit card number.”

“By gum that’s great!” said Charlie. “I really fancy this one, in fact I am phoning now.”

After just a couple of minutes the job appears done and the two pals are grinning with anticipated pleasure.

When closing time arrived, the boys part and make their way home.  “Don’t forget to give me a call when that lass arrives…”

However by Wednesday Harry’s patience is wearing thin and he is forced to ring Charlie. “Any signs yet,” asks Harry?

“I am sure that she is due in the next post-delivery,” shouts Charlie.

“How can you tell?” retorts Harry.

“Well a damn big van has just delivered eight huge boxes full of clothes – and I recognise them all as them what she was wearing in that catalogue.”